KITTYWAYMO'S MORMON MINDSPACE

homosexuality, buzz words. .what do they REALLY mean?

2009-03-17T22:44:00.001-07:00

The truth about Homosexuality

The homosexual community is very much in the news lately, by design and careful planning. This article is in no way meant to disparage any individual involved with this practice, but is meant to condemn the practice itself.

The gay community seeks desperately to be seen as normal. There is nothing abnormal about this desire; we all spend a great part of our lives seeking the approval of others. It is human nature to want to be seen as fitting in; as normal.

Unfortunately, there is NOTHING normal about homosexual relationships! The proactive homosexuals hide behind well chosen words like “gay” or “rainbow.” These names conjure up pleasant images that most of us use to picture the homosexual community. Unfortunately, these images are so far from the truth as to be laughable if it weren’t so tragic. If you saw pictures of the protests after Prop 8 was approved in California, you saw the homosexual community in a more realistic light.

As a physician, I can tell you that the rectum was never intended to be a sexual organ. It’s the body’s garbage can and the anus is the lid. The homosexual relationship calls for one man to thrust his penis into the rectum of the other; into the body’s receptacle for feces. And when he is finished, he often has to wipe feces off his penis. Where’s “gay” in all this? Where’s the “rainbow?” Few of these men would be willing to put his hand in a filthy garbage can, but think nothing of where they place their sexual organ. Ah, you say. The vagina has bacteria too. Yes, it does; the kind that can make yoghurt. Not known to be harmful to humans. Feces, on the other hand, can contain some of the most harmful pathogens. The vagina was designed to stretch enough to allow a baby to pass through. Each of you has experienced what happens when an unusually large firm stool passes through your anus. You feel pain and often notice blood because the delicate tissues tear easily. Again, the anus/rectum was never intended to be a sexual organ!

Homosexual men seem to have almost a death grip on Hollywood these days and as you all know, Hollywood likes to show sexual encounters of all kinds. With all this homosexual influence in Hollywood, you’d think we see a lot of homosexual sex, right? To the contrary, the homosexuals know that this totally abnormal type of sex would offend and disgust the public to the point that the tide of opinion would turn against them. The terms “gay” and “rainbow” would lose their effectiveness in hiding the reality of the homosexual “lifestyle.” In all reality, homosexual sex would probably disgusts most homosexuals if they had to watch it on the screen. There is nothing sweet and tender about one man thrusting his penis in another man’s rectum.

Prophecy fulfilled: You can Leave the Church.. but Can't leave it alone...

2009-02-05T16:32:00.000-08:00

",,,Before you joined this Church you stood on neutral ground. When the gospel was preached good and evil were set before you. You could choose either or neither. There were two opposite masters inviting you to serve them. When you joined this Church you enlisted to serve God. When you did that you left the neutral ground, and you never can get back on to it. Should you forsake the Master you enlisted to serve it will be by the instigation of the evil one, and you will follow his dictation and be his servant.” [Quoted by Daniel Tyler in “Recollections of the Prophet Joseph Smith,” Juvenile Instructor 27, no. 16 (15 August 1892): 492]

EXMO'S CAN LEAVE CHURCH, NOT LEAVE IT ALONE

2009-02-04T16:22:00.000-08:00

I HAVE SEARCH ANTI MORMON SIGHTS AND HAVE YET TO FIND ANYONE WHO IS HAPPY OR BETTER OFF BECAUSE THEY LEFT THE CHRUCH. EXMO'S ARE ONE MISERABLE LOT!!! WHERE'S THE JOY? WHERE'S THE LOVE? WHERE'S ANYONE WHO ESPOUSES A BETTER LIFE?

IF YOU'RE (EXMO'S) GOING TO LEAVE THE CHURCH, THEN LEAVE IT!! THAT THE WHOLE POINT IN LEAVING, YA KNOW. L E A V I N G!!! IF EXMO'S WERE REALLY CONTENT WITH THEIR DECISION, THEY WOULD MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF LANGUISHING ON EXMO BLOG SITES. COMMISERATING WITH A BUNCH OF DISGRUNTLED EX-MOS IS NOT MY IDEA OF A LIFE. EXMO PEOPLE NEED TO MOVE ON AND G E T A L I F E!!!

The Theory of Everything..SuperStringTheory

2008-08-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! Superstrings
The Second Superstring Revolution
String Theory and the Unification of Forces
Superstrings at Cambridge
Superstring Theory page at Cornell
Superstring Theory page at UCSB

Conferences online:
Strings 2002
JHS/60
The Avatars of M-theory
2001: A Spacetime Odyssey
Strings 2001 Online
Strings 2000 Online
String Theory at the Millennium
Strings 99 Online
Strings 98 Online

Physical Sciences Resource Center
PSIGate Physical Science Information Gateway
PhysicsCentral
Caltech Particle Theory Group
Stephen Hawking's home page
Isaac Newton's home page
Emmy Noether's home page
Virtual Trips to Black Holes and Neutron Stars
NOVA's Einstein Revealed
The Particle Adventure
The Universe Today

NASA picture of the day~God's beautiful creations...

2008-02-07T19:46:00.000-08:00

Astronomy Picture of the Day Archive

VERY INTRIGUING NOTION OF ANDROGYNOUS AGENDA

2008-02-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

Culture of Androgeny

Blurring the Lines Between the Genders
by Lee Grady

Does anyone remember a time in America when men were men, women were women, and the children could tell the difference?

In case you haven't noticed, the entertainment industry and the educational establishment have teamed up in the last few years to try their best at destroying traditional sex roles. We are told that in this enlightened era we need to learn to be "gender neutral." Men are encouraged to explore their "feminine side"; women are pressured to get out into the working world and fight their way up the corporate ladder.

Michael Jackson, the epitome of 1980s androgynous chic, paints a clear picture in the minds of our youth that you don't have to be male or female - you can be both. He can belt out a song and dance about "The Man in the Mirror" and sound like Lady Soul at the same time. Meanwhile, polished talk show hosts assure us that we will all eventually be bisexual, thus ridding our society forever of unwanted stereotypes.

If this confusing trend continues, a trend which author George Gilder calls "the androgynous agenda," then America's sexual landscape is going to be drastically marred beyond recognition in a few more years. Consider some of the shocking developments which are taking place in relation to male and female roles:

* The number of male flight attendants rose from none in 1960 to a current total of over 10,000. Other traditionally feminine occupations also have experienced a surge of male interest, all the way from telephone operators to male strippers; 1

* Most state educational budgets now call for increased emphasis and spending on girls' athletics, and less for boys', causing boys' overall participation in school athletic programs to drop from 76 percent to 50 percent; 2

* The Boy Scouts of America, after fighting several costly legal battles, announced last year that they will not bar women from becoming leaders of scout troops;

* Leaders of mainline Protestant denominations have called for the removal of "sexist language" in the Bible and church hymns, proposing that God Himself is both male and female;

* Recent court decisions have mandated that the U.S. Army must admit professed homosexuals into military service;

* The state of California has now officially recognized America's first lesbian sorority on the UCLA campus. Gay rights activists praised the decision as a great victory, and are expecting similar rulings in favor of homosexual fraternities;3

George Gilder, who chronicles this erosion of the sex roles in his excellent book Men and Marriage, says the trend should alarm us: "Every year's statistics break the previous records and ever more graphic images arise to signal the passing of the sexual concepts of masculine and feminine on which Americans have based their lives and expectations."4 But why is it that we are experiencing this sex role crisis?

Cultural Bone Rot

Actually, what we are experiencing in the U.S. today is nothing new. It happened in ancient Sparta and in glorious Rome. It happened in 18th century France and is presently occurring in the nations of modern Scandinavia - as well as most other democracies in the West. George Gilder calls it sexual suicide. It could also be called God's cultural judgment.

It is explained very simply in a Bible passage penned by the Apostle Paul, which he wrote to the Christians in Rome at a time when the imperial capital was well on its way to becoming an androgynous society. In this classic epistle he describes in detail the fate of a culture which rejects God's authority and His immutable laws:
"For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks; but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools ... Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, that their bodies might be dishonored among them ...

"For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire towards one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error" (portions of Romans 1:21-27).

This passage outlines the systematic breakdown of sex roles and the entire family structure itself - a structure which God designed to be the foundation of a healthy society. In a culture where men have rejected God's government and refused to submit to His moral requirements, a process of decay is set in motion. This moral entropy begins in the minds of men; as God's enlightening presence and protective influence is withdrawn, a pall of intellectual confusion settles over the society as a whole.

This intellectual depravity, as it progresses in intensity, brings about a twisting and a perverting of all that is natural and normal. And if we interpret Paul's comments to the Romans correctly, it would appear that sexual habits and roles are the ultimate target of this cultural bone rot process. When a society has divorced itself from God, the final result will be that men stop being men, women stop being women, and the institutions of marriage and family are destroyed.

When Paul tells us that men and women"abandon their natural function," this does not simply refer to homosexuality. What is "natural" for woman? Most assuredly her natural instinct is to marry, bear children, and devote much of her life to nurturing those children. In an anti-Christian society, women abandon these instincts. They revolt against the concept of childbearing, either through abortion or through neglect of nurturing responsibilities.

What is natural for the man? The most natural, God-given male instinct is for a man to give himself to one woman as her lifetime sexual partner in marriage, providing for her and for the children which they produce together. Whenever a civilization revolts against God, men simultaneously revolt against the institution of marriage.

This revolt does not begin with homosexuality. The large-scale breakdown of marriage in this country tends to parallel with the publication of Playboy magazine and the philosophy that it began to promote in the 1950s. Hugh Hefner's revolution encouraged men to leave the confines of marital fidelity under the guise of male sexual expression. But adultery is actually a revolt against masculinity and the natural male function, because it, and the resulting divorce, actually removes men from their primary role of husband, father and family provider.

Once men have rejected marriage, the door is then opened for the onslaught of homosexuality. Children no longer have a genuine male role model in the home, and this lack of a strong father figure completes the cycle of perversion: the young sons are sent out on a desperate search for the masculinity they never found by natural means, and the wounded daughters find it forever difficult to respect men when they reach adulthood.

Stopping "Gender Neutral" Policy

America's gradual drift from Judeo-Christian morality has now led us into the danger zone I have just described. One writer recently stated that the last twenty years in this country, in terms of public policy, could be described as"the homosexualization of America." But we did not get into this predicament without the help of an elite group of policymakers who have adopted an anti-family, anti-male, and anti-female agenda.

Leaders of the feminist movement (many of them are men, by the way) have told us that traditional sex roles are oppressive to one's individuality. They tell us that marriage is institutionalized rape, and that our economy is designed to enslave women to domestic duties. They tell us that women not only belong in the White House or on the construction site or in a fighter jet, but that we have a moral imperative to discriminate against men to put them there.

According to Gilder, Americans should learn a valuable lesson from the Swedes before it is too late. Over the last 25 years, Swedish social planners under the influence of feminism began to devise national policy that directly attacked the nuclear family. Legislation was enacted which removed all special protections for married women. Tax laws eliminated the joint return for a married couple, thus forcing both married partners to pay the same in taxes even if the wife did not work.

After a few years of such policy changes, it was impossible for a husband to provide for his family on one income. Women were forced into the workforce, and children were simultaneously forced into federal day-care facilities. Housing and tax benefits were even curtailed if families refused to place their children in the day-care centers. 5

Today in Sweden, traditional male and female roles have virtually been abolished. Men can no longer act as the principal providers. Women can no longer care for their children. Marriage has become a serious economic disadvantage, therefore most Swedish young people have rejected it. Not surprisingly, Sweden is now considering legalizing homosexual marriage - and will most likely be the first country in the world to do so.

Does the story of Sweden sound like a socialist nightmare? We are much closer to copying the Swedish pattern than most of us realize. Says Gilder, "The United States is enacting many of the policies that brought sexual suicide to Sweden. Despite the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment and universal day-care, the feminists are gaining their ends piecemeal. In particular, the decline in the value of the child deduction has shifted the tax burden onto families with children.

"Through court decisions in favor of comparable worth, through the infiltration of the schools by feminists texts and teachers, through the day-care tax credits and other subsidies for the two-earner family, and through the rapid erosion of the joint income tax return and the housewife's right to social security, feminists are winning quietly by legal and legislative action what they cannot win in referenda."6

The Swedish agenda is already being seriously discussed in the halls of Congress as a viable option for American society. A bill proposing a massive federal day-care system is in consideration during this current legislative session. The feminist rallying cry is convincing more and more mothers to pursue employment outside the home. Our current welfare system has all but destroyed the self-esteem of lower class black males, mainly because single black mothers lose economic advantages if they marry.

What we need desperately in America today is a public policy which honors the clear differences between male and female; which places marriage in an honorable and economically desirable position; which eliminates no-fault divorce; which offers protection and security to the housewife; and which encourages home child care.

We cannot allow maleness and femaleness to drift together into a vague, unisexual zone of neutrality. We cannot allow monogamous marriage to become just one of several legally accepted lifestyles. We cannot allow federal economic policies to cripple and dismember the family structure.

Returning to pro-family policies will not be easy. It will require real men to stand up in the public arena to challenge the anti-gender activists. It will demand real women to defend the paramount role of traditional motherhood. But we cannot sit idly by while the social scientists plan America's sexual suicide. The culture which refuses to acknowledge and honor the differences between the sexes will neuter itself, and ultimately fade away into a childless oblivion.

1 George Gilder, Men and Marriage, ( Gretna, LA:Pelican Publishing Company, 1987), p. 138. 139.
2 Ibid., p. 122.
3 William Jasper, "Perversion and Ignorance," The New American, April 11, 1988, p. 45. 4 Gilder, p. 140.
5 Ibid., p. 151, 152. 6 Ibid., p. 153.

you're still the one by shania twain (dr h)

2008-01-30T23:27:00.000-08:00

(When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And after all this time, you're still the one I love.)

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge:
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

(Bridge)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

shania twain "this kiss," dr h and i's song! Played it everyday when i was in radio doing a morning show...

2008-01-30T14:37:00.000-08:00



I don't want another heartbreak I don't need another turn to cry I don't want to learn the hard way Baby hello, oh no, goodbye But you got me like a rocket Shooting straight across the sky It' s the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's (ah) impossible This kiss, this kiss Unstoppable This kiss, this kiss Cinderella said to Snow White "How does love get so off course All I wanted was a white knight With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse Ride me off into the sunset Baby I'm forever yours" It' s the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's (ah) unthinkable [ Lyrics found at www.mp3lyrics.org/BQ ] This kiss, this kiss Unsinkable This kiss, this kiss It's the way you love me It's the way you love me It's the way you love me It's the way you love me You can kiss me in the moonlight On the rooftop under the sky, oh You can kiss me with the windows open While the rain comes pourin' inside, oh Kiss me in sweet slow motion Let's let everything slide You got me floatin' You got me flyin' It' s the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's (ah) subliminal This kiss, this kiss It's criminal It' s the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's (ah) subliminal This kiss, this kiss It's the way you love me... It's the way you love me...

first cut is the deepest sheryl crow

2008-01-28T21:04:00.001-08:00

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I have
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know...

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure gonna give you a try
If you want I'll try to love again, (try)
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know...

OOHHH,
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
But when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
Cuz if you want I'll try to love again
(Try to love again, try to love again)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know, OOHHH....

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
When it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst

OOHHH, the first cut is the deepest
Baby I know (baby I know)
The first cut is the deepest
Try to love again...

"soak up the sun" sheryl crow, click on words to hear)

2008-01-28T17:34:00.001-08:00

President Gordon B. Hinckley press release on his death(click link here to read)

2008-01-27T22:40:00.000-08:00

I just got this email from Church headquarters. I am still on the media list. I've had more time to think about it. Like my husband says, we should be happy for Pres. Hinckley because he is with his wife, whom he loves. Pres. Monson or Pres. Packer will most likely be the next Prophet.

It is comforting to know the Lord directs His Church and we will always have a Prophet here upon the earth to lead us to Jesus Christ.

sheryl crow favourite mistake(click song/artist to see video)

2008-01-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

I woke up and called this morning,
the tone of your voice was a warning
that you don't care for me anymore.

I made up the bed we sleep in.
I looked at the clock when you creep in.
It's 6 AM and I'm alone.

Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending,
to the bad day I was just beginning.
When you go, all I know is you're my favorite mistake.

Your friends act sorry for me.
They watch you pretend to adore me.
But I am no fool to this game.

Now here comes your secret lover,
she'll be unlike any other,
until your guilt goes up in flames.

Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending,
to the bad day I'd gotten used to spending.
When you go, all I know is you're my favorite mistake
You're my favorite mistake.

Well maybe nothing lasts forever,
even when you stay together.
I don't need forever after, but it's your laughter won't let me go
so I'm holding on this way.

Did you know could you tell you were the only one
that I ever loved?
Now everything's so wrong.
Did you see me walking by, did it ever make you cry?
Now you're my favorite mistake
Yeah you're my favorite mistake
You're my favorite mistake

(click on these words to hear song)Shawn Colvin - Sunny Came Home my song about me and spence

2008-01-25T01:06:00.000-08:00

lyrics:

Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission

She says days go by Im hypnotized
Im walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire

Sunny came home with a list of names
She didnt believe in transcendence
Its time for a few small repairs she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance

She says days go by I dont know why
Im walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire

Get the kids and bring a sweater
Dry is good and wind is better
Count the years, you always knew it
Strike a match, go on and do it

Days go by Im hypnotized
Im walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire
Light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
Shes out there on her own and shes alright
Sunny came home
Sunny came home...

i knew i loved you when i met you savage garden me and dr. h

2008-01-25T00:55:00.000-08:00

truly, madly, deeply savage garden

2008-01-25T00:50:00.000-08:00

me and my baby's song when we got engaged!

I'll be your dream

I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah

[chorus:]
I want to stand with you on
a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining
brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the
comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

[chorus]

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right here
before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do

[chorus]

I want to stand with you on a
mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

Shine Collective Soul

2008-01-25T00:48:00.001-08:00

"presidents of the u.s of america" peaches song!

2008-01-25T00:46:00.001-08:00

"foolish games" by Jewel...click on the link (name and title of fav songs) to hear/see music videos

2008-01-25T00:33:00.000-08:00

songs are very healing for me. since meeting dr. h and divorcing dr b(dentist) i used music for my healing process and to uplift and sort my feelings. the next posts are links to my fav songs, the words are very poignant etc. some of you remember my fav for spence jewel "foolish games" very appropriate for our marriage and my feelings of hurt, love and anger all rolled into one for my "favorite mistake" the dentist. (btw, that's another fav song, who sings that again? please leave the artist, thank you!:))

foolish games by jewel

You took your coat off and stood in the rain
You're always crazy like that
And I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
You're always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comments on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You're always brilliant in morning
[Foolish Games lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee
Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved
Do you loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
Well excuse me, cause I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself
These foolish games are tearing me,
You're tearing me, you're tearing me apart
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart

You took off your coat and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that

"adia" sarah mcglocklin

2008-01-25T00:32:00.000-08:00

I'll Be Edwin McCain

2008-01-24T21:50:00.001-08:00

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

fav song sophie b hawkins "as i lay me down to sleep"

2008-01-24T17:18:00.003-08:00

dr h and i have many, many songs, this is one of them.

me and my baby

2008-01-24T17:06:00.000-08:00

these taco guys very funny on u-tube!(click on these words to see)

2008-01-24T06:21:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARWDaDwnIIw

my beautiful twin "its"

2007-01-28T22:30:00.001-08:00

To my friend Ron,

2007-01-25T22:27:00.001-08:00

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
- Albert Einstein

organizing emergency supplies

2007-01-22T11:43:00.004-08:00

today we are cleaning out the "drug drawers" and cabinets. we are both packrats and have saved every sample, goodyfrompharmacyrep, old scripts and new mooremedical supplies for the fam you can imagine.

i love medline 'cause when we look at a generic that pharmacy spelled incorrectly they'll correct spelling and if you have something onhand, say an injectable that you honest to goodness don't remembering ordering or have a clue whats the indication you can go AAAAH MEDLINE... kinda like AAAH BACH...

anyway, we have doublesided tape and we sat down and made labels/stickys for the tops of the bottles so we can see them as we open the big drawers.. i am so proud of our organizational skills!

What to Expect as a Straight Female Spouse of a GayMormonMan

2007-01-21T21:57:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking of this topic a lot lately for the YSA program, ok my fantasy Churchwise would be a course of sorts, you know,
like the Catholics have marriage prep classes. this would be the mormongay/straight temple class... I'm not just yet ready to suggest it to my bishop, but what would be the harm to have regular marriage prep classes that discuss sex, financial issues, backgrounds, children, careers, etc.? ok, but insert the gay partner/straight partner and discuss the same issues...sex, financial issues, temptations, children, etc. etc.

so i came up with my own little list. Please keep in mind this is VERY subjective as in former spouse of gaymormondentist stuff, but i'm sure some things can be extrapolated.

The up side:

1. excellent conversationalist
2. very neat and tidy
3. good dresser
4. fun to eat goodies and treats with, and cook with
5. kind and compassionate and yes, affectionate
6. good sense of humor, scarlet pimpernel meets the simpsons
7. usually very well read. When i met spencer i had a copy of "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" in the trunk of my miata and he actually KNEW that it was not a mechanics guide for women!
8. music, music and more music!:)

the down side:

1. sex
2. sex
3. sex
ok just kidding, relax, remember i like to use humor when remembering my own pain with dr. burnett. (spence)
4. The Dentist 1 & 2
5. Watching the Dentist 1 & 2 with Spence and noticing that there are striking similarities between he and That dentist up on our big screen.
6. Watching the postman always rings twice and fighting over the hottie that comes to take the lead girl away from her boring life.
7. Watching brad pitt in that horses movie, you know, where the girl is in love with brad, but the brother who seems very gay was in love with her instead, i can't remember the name, epic piece...
8. having cute bishopric and hometeachers, not a problem for me, but spence had an actual crush on the first counselor(straight) i used to get embarrassed because i was so jealous!
9. ok, i've been delaying it, not because i'm a prude, i absolutely love sex, here goes...
a. one time spence dressed up as a missionary at lunch time, i'm talking name tags and everything, i will spare details but i did not apparently play the investigator, he wanted me to be the elder burnett!lol!
b. He loved kissing and cuddling, which was very cool, but when i wanted more, i got the brush off. First time in my life, not to be conceited, so it was a shocker!
c. Lack of intimacy in the intimacy...only another straight woman/gayman would understand that reference. No real "connection" no "hot and heavy" its possible, but for me it was nonexistent.
d. One time he announced female genitalia were unattractive and quickly added so was male genitalia. I said "why on earth do you think that?" he said, well in dental school i missed gross anatomy when the male parts were dissected. Ok i thought, what---ev---er!
e. being very feminine and dressing as such (me i mean) spence loved me in his t-shirts and baggy shorts etc, no make-up. He used to take tons, i mean a lot of pics of me, camping, hiking etc. I do believe he was attracted to me and found me attractive. But if i ever did frilly or pretty with makeup etc. he would tell me "it grosses me out!" so i had to dress down, or wear scrubs a lot.
f. I missed out on "the look". i don't mean zoolander! great flick though. I mean the look like "i want you so much" "i think you're hot" you get it.

I guess other concerns would be: complete honesty, which would be painful at times. Children, when and how to tell them?
Jealousy..if you've seen brokeback mountain, which made me cry...a lot! the wife reminded me a lot of myself. I cried for all those involved, and for the hate-mongers who's senseless murder of the boyfriend was so sad.

well, i'm going to sleep, my husband doesn't want me to dwell in large doses about my past, good rx from a very great doctor!

Love, Kittywaymo

MITT....R.....

2007-01-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

the research says it all...via american research group, inc.

mymyspace pics

2007-01-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Thing One's Poem, so beautifully written

2007-01-21T20:17:00.000-08:00

Thing One and Thing Two are our joy. They are wonderful traveling companions when we go up to the Tetons, Sedona, California, etc. etc. Intelligent, beautiful, fun-loving.. they keep us on our toes! Thing one is our artist/poet. A very sensitive soul, she was a little upset at her bf(best friend, its taken me a year to learn the lingo, the periodic table was easier to memorize than 13-year old twin-teen language) she constructed this poem, we are very proud of her!!

¥Reasons And Frustrations¥

I feel mad a frustrated no one understands

they judge me for who they see not what i am!

But what i am is what they see

its just like that that they see me!

Why is life so hard, too many complications

i cant go to the movies withought boundaries and foundations!

Populars, Goths, they're all the same

love, secrets there's too much pain!

But God put us here for a reason so we could overcome

all the stupid things people do and have done!

So just go along and dont give in

cuz the worst thing to do is commit a sin!

But we do everyday you cant avoid it

just keep strong, he'll help you through it!

Learn to love and forgive cuz its all u can do

and it'll be worth it wen he comes for you!

coollink for keeping time/learning @ links/features -w blogger

2007-01-21T18:07:00.001-08:00

dr. h and i are into time pieces and are collectors of various watches, etc. that my bro in law sent us. he is really cool and fun. he and my sister live in ny and its their son whos the ny stock broker for chase manhattan who's married to the biophysicist beautiful asian girl. she is really nice and a great mom! my nephew was working at morgan stanley chase when 9/11 hit... a miracle and tender mercy of the Lord, his life was spared only because he was on vacation with my sis/bro in law and was not there at the time. unfortunately all of his dear friends were killed.
i am fascinated by time and its reckoning. i love 80's tv programming with shows like 'quantum leap'... quantum physics rocks! or reverberates according to string theory...i'll talk about string theory and dr. greene another day...
for now, i am having a great sunday and enjoying my time alone with dr. h. we don't have cable or tv, just a really cool big screen/sound system and about a million dollars worth of box sets and movies... i want to learn how to use link features more proficiently and will try to provide my lists of tv show boxsets, excellent movies and lds church movies.... the latter is personal to me as i was an actor in "true and living God"(restoration series/visitors' center movie) and "joy of the world". if you do watch either, lets see if you can figure out what "character" i portrayed....joy of the world came with your ensign several years ago... for free! needless to say, i made no residuals on that one!

fun/interestings blogs of notability

2007-01-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

I spoke to Rat (his name at google) very nice and extremely helpful.. Rat if you are reading this, you are quite good-looking yourself!

Anyway, I don't want to switch to the new template, so for now, i wanted to post a good blog's link for Samantha Stevens (please click on "fun/interestings..." link above to be be-witched...

Love, Kittywaymo

Sundays

2007-01-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

Today was high council sunday. The speaker talked about enduring to the end, trials, daily scripture study and truly loving the Lord with all our hearts, might, mind and strength.

I love sundays..i feel fortunate to teach gospel doctrine to 18-30 year olds with dr. h... it is one of my favorite callings! Only one other comes closest, and that was teaching high school seminary, weekly in Arizona. I loved those kids so very much. I love my class! Sacrament meeting was really good today. C. the pharmacist was there, he's on the high council and always makes us laugh, plus he orders supplies for us and gives us the good doc discount. Today the 13 year olds did not have a teacher and c. told them as high councilman, they need to go to my class... he was really funny with them! I love teenagers and teaching in the Church. I've been in YW, seminary teacher and now gospel doctrine to the YSA and I feel humbled that the Lord allows me to have the best callings in the Church!Lol...I need them sometimes more than they probably need us. Isn't that the same with children and grandchildren? I love our kids. We have a big family, i almost wrote the amount of children but i am trying to keep this blog semi anon... my bish says i'm the only one that comes in for a temple recommend and mentions that i drink white, green tea. sometimes my ocd reaches record highs. i want to sometimes write "stream of consciousness" i loved my honors english class in h.s. and advanced eng in college. it was so fun to do various writing experiments.
back to kids, i think Heavenly Father gives them to us because we need them more than they need us sometimes. children give us a chance to set our sites higher, live better, become more loving etc. we have a yours/ours/mine situation and it is fun and interesting! so today my favorite talk was high councilman. He quoted some good scriptures and spoke with the Spirit, everyone was quiet and noone fell asleep! Some points he made and some scriptures I found after related to enduring to the end:

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage: be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9 (besides having a handsome, smart nephew on a mission named joshua, i just love the book of joshua!)

"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Mosiah 14:5

"For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors." Alma 34:32

My very favorite:

"For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

"And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise. O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so was it prepared for them, that if they would look they might live even so it is with us. The way is prepared and if we will look we may live forever."

"And now, my son, see that ye take care of these things, yea see that ye look to God and live. Go unto this people and declare the word, and be sober. My son, Farewell." Alma 37:44-47"

Born That Way? As A Scientist, I Disagree Strongly...

2007-01-20T17:34:00.000-08:00

Ok.. finally a more serious post...

I was discussing homosexuality with dr. h the other day and after reading various journals, studies, NARTH articles etc.. I came to my own hypothesis with the help of my intelligent geneticist dr. h.

u-c dr. h took genetics with dr. cecil jacobson....the father of artificial insemination..he took his honors class! besides, dr h is a high risk pregnancy obgyn, surgeon and scientist...his theory, which i fully am in agreement with is the following..

Men who are homosexual, bisexual or SSA in or out of the lds church are in a state of "arrested development" as dr h puts it. he says "take an average 13 year old boy and put him next to a gay man (not literally, figuratively) and you have one and the same behavioral patterns, idiosyncrasies etc.

Narcissistic
Insecure
Did i say Narcissistic?
J.R. Tolkien
Star Wars
Scarlet Pimpernel
X-box? debatable
Harry Potter
Did I say Harry Potter?
Narth scientific journal article says... "overwhelmed by the feminine, they HATE being controlled in any way"
Freudian "potty" and bodily function preoccupation
Anger
Frustration
Depression

Ok, the last three are frequently present in adult gay males. But I can see where the logic follows. My ex S. was very narcissistic. Everything was about HIM. HIS pain, HIS depression, HIS bad childhood, HIS therapy sessions, HIS medications, HIS use of nitrous etc. HIS not wanting anyone to control him, or help him. He was so preoccupied with his issues, he didn't realize the rest of us, his family were becoming worn out!

back to the theory.. One study:

First year of all gay relationships, 60% of partners cheat on one another.
After first year, 90%, my goodness 90%!! cheat of their significant other.
Where is the security? the perseverance? The commitment?

Another study talks about the physical obsession gay men have with their body's shape, waist line, look. I love looking pretty and being in top shape, walking etc. So this is not really a problem area for me. But the difference is, if one is expecting their partner to be in perfect shape, stay physically top etc. and they fail to meet this expectation, most women will stay with their husbands if they gain/loose weight, get seriously ill etc. This study shows statistically this does not happen typically in the gay relationship. U know the Abrecrombie and Finch ads representing what they want in a partner.. as unrealistic as the Glamour ads are for women!

This fixation on the physical body reminds me of the awkward teenage years of any boy or girl. Its ok to want to look beautiful. I've always tried to look pretty etc. and some people in my family would call me a "perfectionist" in every way....My nickname at University was Diane from Cheers...Yup, i admit watching cheers on boxset this week with dr. h, is very spooky at times... I used to be told I looked like shelly long also, and finally saw cheers and was floored! but i digress...but i think even my gay friends will agree with me, that the physical is top on their list of what they want in a partner. Sex is important, one of Maslow's Basic Needs (the ladder rungs, i think it was 3rd from the top!)

Women seem to have qualities etc. that are needed during these times in a marriage. Think Carol Lynn Pearson taking care of her gay husband who died of AIDS. SHE was by his side day and night. Where was his narcissistic gay lover? Where was his boyfriend? Friends? They bailed on him.

I know their are exceptions, but they are few and far in-between.

Back to the arrested development theory.

Most of these men act like they are stuck between the ages of 12-16. Alot of men and women have had Same Sex attraction and even experienced experimentation, but they move on to adulthood and usually continue their life into heterosexuality. Which incidentally perpetuates the species, homosexuality most definitely does not. Although for unexplained reasons (scientific data lacking) gay men do reproduce with heterosexual women and have children, then continue to live gay lifestyle. I would love to see a study someday as to why this is. The most obvious answer is their need to create a posterity, children etc.

Anyway, dr. h feels that admiration of another boy/man etc. is very normal, but when it is sexualized that's when the trouble begins. I must say at this point that I have various gay friends in and out of the Church. I love them very much and do not blame them for their ssa. I am trying to discover why there are so many lds ssa coming out now and in the last 5 years.

I think it is that we live in a Telestial World. Environment + the personality of the child have to do with the grade of homosexuality in a person. Dominating, controlling moms with shy, sensitive boys seem to be a lethal mixture. My ex-husband's mom was controlling and very abusive. He was very withdrawn etc. Even though I am not controlling, he would identify me with his mom because of my activity in the lds church (very active).It was very sad to think of him as a child, and how truly mean she was to him. This is why i guess i forgive him and feel bad for him.
I think dr. h has something here. I do believe gay men are in a state of arrested development, emotionally hovering between 12-16. They still have the intelligence to go on to become Drs., dentists, lawyers, whatever, but emotionally, just like teen boys, are self-absorbed, immature and self-centered. In terms of them being fathers and husbands, the wives become "mother" to them as well as their children. Again, this is very emotionally draining for the woman married to the gay man. According to NARTH psych studies, these men started out associating with the feminine, then went on to dad associating with the masculine, but somewhere along the way, mom's controlling, over-molding behavior for her lack of emotional fulfillment with her own husband, is perpetrated on the little boy, then he doesn't quite connect with dad, hits his teens, has a sexual experience or two..either by choice, or through molestation, does not wish to date/associate with girls, and then continues on to homosexuality. Environment...not nature/born that way....Heavenly Father would not frustrate his own plan of happiness by sentencing these poor souls to such an awful fate. I believe these brothers and sisters had one or more of the above experiences in their early development and on... I'm speaking about birth to 3 years old, 3-5, 5-7, 8-11 etc..etc.

Well, not very scientifically put, but in my heart as a former gay mans wife, it makes perfect sense to me. I did love my former mother in law very much. I was devastated to hear the things she did and the lack of warmth she showed to my ex. According to him and other family members, she loved little babies and children up till age 6, she was very affectionate etc, then would cut off the affection and become abusive toward ages 7-up.

Very sad indeed. Well, My bishop is my home teacher and we were speaking about this today. He is very kind and loving. He is very intelligent and a professional man and agreed. I realize these are just opinions, but amongst the three of us and the many, many other professionals, wives of gay men in the Church I've met and therapists in and out of the Church, we seem to agree that these personality traits seem consistant.

I am intrigued reading some of the gay, married and lds blogging. Most of these men must not be too busy at their jobs to see the various times they are posting. One man blogs daily, posts morning noon and night and is a physician. My husband, an ob would never find the time with delivering 30 babies a month and surgery 4x a week! Then I discovered his green out of med school, that explains it! I often wonder if these men shouldn't be putting some of this energy into their marriages, the gospel, dailly scripture reading etc. Pres. Kimball use to say that without daily, intense scripture study, even he felt like he would drift away from the Lord. I am trying with dr. h to study 1 hour a day (just started!) it makes a difference to take the focus of the sin of the world etc. and back on to wholesome, gospel topics.

I needed to get these thoughts out, and I feel like blogging is a way to do this. I am being judgemental but honest when I say that I wonder what their wives (lds gay bloggers) lives are like, well I know very well what I think they are like but I mean knowing my ex husband was corresponding with other gay mormon men would not have helped me feel good. I think there is alot of titillation that goes on amongst these men. Alot of flirting if you will. They seem to try to impress one another much like a teen boy would do with a girl with their knowledge and wit.

I just find it interesting to see the dynamics in their blogging. I guess I am a true labrat...i love experimentation and the results and then re-examining data.

I kinda started my own experiment for now unpublished, on gay mormon married blogging. I see benefits but definate drawbacks to this. 1. these guys have professional jobs, some seem to post 5:30am, all throughout the day and night etc. I know that getting it out is good, but talking about your children naked and bathing seems inappropriate given that most married gay mormon men suffer with porn and masterbation problems and addictions. I would think corresponding with other bloggers with the same "addictions" pull triggers.

Anyway, that's just my opinion.

I don't know what the answer is for spence and others. I know the Lord is Love and so their is great hope and love for these brothers and sisters and their upbringing/trials. Just like we heterosexuals have our issues and temptations and backgrounds and yet are still expected to choose the right and follow the counsel of the Prophet, homosexual/ssa lds are expected to adhere to the commandments, filter thoughts of sight and sound and let only clean thoughts enter therein....

For as a man thinketh, so is he. So hetero/homosexuals both have to try to stay away from porn, stay morally clean, keep their thoughts clean etc.

lds.org has an excellent resource for this on the provident living link called "addiction and recovery" manual

I do not think spence was "born that way". I do believe through a series of very sad and unfortunate incidences he "became" ssa. He tried to do what is right by marrying in the temple.. but he should have given me the option to not marry him and save myself the pain and heartache. Again, I feel the men who are honest with their wives before marriage are amazing as are their wives.

I still love the men who are not honest with their wives, and out of the closet. I just feel that they are creating a slow poison that will eventually overtake them, their marriage and family. It is impossible to have such a clandestine relationship with a spouse and not suffer divorce etc. That is what I think happened to me and spence.

When i fell in love with dr. h, spences mom over the phone told me "spence drove you to fall in love with another man". I felt so bad for spence when i heard that from her. It was nice for her to understand my position, but i knew he needed her support, not me.

His dad, a very nice guy, flew out and took care of him when i moved out and started divorce proceedings. My heart did break for him and the pain i was causing him. I didn't wish to "get even" My anger did not come till years later. Delayed reaction i guess. I would listen to him plead for me to stay married to him etc. but i had to be true to myself and my needs. Not in a narcissistic way, but a realistic way.

pics i like...

2007-01-19T18:00:00.000-08:00

sheryl crow soak up the sun (what i felt when i found out spence was gay)

2007-01-19T17:12:00.000-08:00

I really like this....I have been looking on alot of the gay mormon married blogs lately...back when I was married to spence the gay-dentist I could not figure out his angst...i mean we married in the temple, dated only 5 months before he proposed, kissed alot while dating etc. so when he really didn't enjoy married life, I was perplexed.

You see, spence and I were best friends when we met. I was dating an orthopedic surgeon, very straight and i dumped the poor guy for spence. I'll never forget when the o.s. (gotta be careful he's married now and living in the same state as me, the orthopod i mean) anyway this o.s. asked spence "what are your intentions with kittywaymo(well, he said my name) this is at a singles dance mind you.

spence said, "there's nothing going on, i'm dating patti (who just got off her mission, cute big chested blonde, but not very well-read, shall we say) anyway, needless to say spence and i got together one month later when a friend at the radio station i worked with took the discussions, u-c spence was the mission leader of the ward. I sometimes get miffed there were no "gaydar" signs for me to follow while i dated spence. Sure he was the first guy in my life that never tried to feel me up...and I'm pretty unendowed in the chest dept (very endowed in the lds dept thought:)

I found it odd cause even the orthopedic surgeon had the wondering hands syndrome but was a very good sport when I tried to keep us "moral".

Spence, he would be the one in control of the "moral" dept. He would stop us if we got too hot and heavy with the kissing. I never gave it a second thought. He said he loved kissing, we would kiss for hours, he's dentist I trusted his professional expertise in the maxiofacial/mouth area.

But on our honeymoon i guess i knew something wasn't right, but being that i didn't have alot of experience, i wasn't sure just what.

Well, i'll post more later, i find i need humour when talking about spence and i's relationship cause it was very painful...imagine that a painful dentist...as a former dentist wife....i needed love Nitrous.. dr. bh came along...,my current husband and boy...am i getting the high of my life now with a heterosexual man. It is very different. I feel fulfilled emotionally sexually and as a person.

with spence, i felt like i was constantly giving, giving my unconditional love, support for his depression, mood swings and anger, drained of any nurishment that i so desperately needed to retain. I was so perplexed because he would always say "you are the only woman i ever loved" little did i know at the time, he really meant it! But when he suggested we live as "roommates" during our marriage, and why can't we go back to the way it was when we were best friends...(intellectually we really hit it off) i was floored.

I don't know how i feel about married mixed orientation couples because i suffered so very much in my marriage to spence. It was so exhausting being upbeat, sprititual and "strong" all the time. He never told me before we were married he was gay, but i did find pics of he and some friends nude from behind on a camping trip they had...i know, i can hear those who may be reading this going..."brokeback mountain...hello!" but when you are in love you accept the explanation..."we only had one bathing suit and wanted to go down the natural slip and slide into the lake...boy i could have fun with that previous sentence but i'm trying to keep my blog rated g.

I believed him! First of all, i discovered the pics cause i was nosey and going through a drawer in the living room while he was seeing patients and drilling teeth.. when i asked him, he looked flushed and laughed nervously. His explanation sounded innocent after all, it was "from the back" not frontal nudity. I never stopped to think till years later that..."why did he have these pics years later in the drawer in his living room under some papers?"

Ahhhh how naive...even though i have a genius i.q. i listened to my heart not my intellect and it told me "i believe you because i love you".

Well, someone suggested (another lds woman married who was married to a gay mormon man) that "isolation and secrecy are the greatest weapon Satan uses against us to destroy us" as an lds dentists wife back then, with all the prestige, married in the temple etc. i was mortified with what i later discovered in his dental school boxes... (no its not cadaver body parts...although dentists are known for their insanity...so are high i.q.'s though...)

It was a letter written to BYU newspaper saying the author is attracted to men but knows someday the Lord will bless him with a beautiful daughter of God who he can take to the Temple and there be sealed for all time and eternity...I was that "beautiful young lady" we were indeed sealed in the temple, and what began later was a rollercoaster ride that I am now just getting over, 9 years later....

My current obgyn husband is very supportive of my blogging. I feel so very blessed to have him in my life. I guess now that i feel safe, secure and happy its time to just forgive and move on. I have forgiven spence and moved on, but emotionally i feel he took something from me that i am just now replenishing. Alot of women married to gay mormon men who are NOT out of the closet yet relate to my feelings.

It is very difficult trying to act like everything is perfect when one is living in a twilight zone episode....

other elements like his working for ihs, moving me across the country far away from the support of my family and his, the explosive anger he exhibited and the decision i faced, all led to me getting my very own depression and anger.

I have worked through alot of the anger and feelings of being betrayed, but the problem is...he is still in the closet, never went to his Bishop etc.. and so when i left him and divorced him i had people judge me, and that hurt.

I feel it is not my place to report him to the Church or tell his current wife. She seems very sweet and innocent, and i often feel she is just as confused as me. I am too much of a coward to talk to her however. SOOO i am conflicted. Should i call her and tell her "hey, been there done that, do you need any help coping?" or should i mind my own business as yet another good lds girl gets her heart ripped out and smashed on the floor by a Narcissistic Dentist..(hey isn't that an oxymoron?)

well, i'm hoping this blogging thing and Heavenly Father can help me do the right thing, whatever that is. I hope i can truly forgive spence someday, and also not feel guilty for leaving him and divorcing him instead of "sticking it out".

These other women married to gay men, who KNEW they were marrying gay men are amazing to me...I guess i'm too logical to "stick it out" and saw the huge writing on the wall. BEING MARRIED TO A GAY MORMON MAN AS A STRAIGHT MORMON GIRL =NOTHIN' BUT PAIN AND HEARTACHE...and dangerously depleting levels of low self-esteem in the heapfulls...

My friend the communist
Holds meetings in his RV
I can't afford his gas
So I'm stuck here watching TV
I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

[CHORUS:]
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up o I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe i am crazy too

[CHORUS]

I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me
Don't have no master suite
I'm still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I'm the one who has the key
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too

[CHORUS]

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on.

more pics i like

2006-12-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

I LOVE BRUCE H, MD!

2006-10-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

HELLO...I LOVE BRUCE MY HUSBAND, OBGYN AND SURGEON, GREAT FATHER, GREAT FORMER BISHOP, WRITER, ORGANIST, LOVER...BEST FRIEND...(FORGIVE THE OCCASIONAL CAPS IN THESE BLOGS...FORMER JOURNALIST HABIT)

I LOVE HIS GORGEOUS BLUE EYES, AND THICK CURLY HAIR...I LOVE THAT HE HAS A FULL HEAD OF HAIR!

I LOVE HIS TOUCH, SO STRONG YET GENTLE. WHEN I WATCH HIM DELIVER A BABY OR DO SURGERY, THESE STRONG GENTLE HANDS ARE SO ARTISTIC, SO GRACEFUL YET POWERFUL.

OK, WHAT CAN I SAY...I AM SO IN LOVE! DR. H. IS EVERY GIRLS DREAM, BUT ESPECIALLY MY DREAM COME TRUE, A WONDERFUL COMPASSIONATE DOCTOR, A FUN ADORABLE HUSBAND AND FATHER, AND HE LOVES TO TRAVEL, AS DO I!

WE ARE GOING TO THE CARRIBBEAN ON A BEAUTIFUL CRUISE OUT OF NYC! AT THE END OF THE CRUISE HE IS TAKING ME HOME TO SEE MOM AND MY FAMILY...I HAVE AN ADORABLE NEW GRAND-NEPHEW AND MY SWEET NIECE WHO MARRIED MY ADORABLE NEPHEW, A STOCK BROKER (YES I AM JEWISH, TITLES MEAN SOMETHING!LOL!) WELL A JEWISH/ITALIAN/MORMON.

ANYWAY MY NIECE EVE IS CHINESE AND BEAUTIFUL, SMART..WOW SHE HAS A MASTERS DEGREE IN BIOPHYSICS!!

well, its there baby...Markie the stock broker and Eve the brilliant biophysicist...isn't that so cute? I will be putting their pics up soon! Love kittywaymo

Special Offers...

2006-10-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

i would love to be a "special offer" serial killer. It would be worth hunting down and then in a very painful way, anniliating "special offer" emails with surveys that go on forever and ever only to get some lame "dinner for two at pizza hut". Ok ok, my iq is 164, i am indeed a textbook genius, every now and again i stoop below hovering near 120-130 (only when filling out an online survey...which i've only done, thankfully once in my life!)

I hate junk mail, junk email, bull---offers etc etc. basically being "hussled"or hassled actually.

I on the otherhand, realize the irony as a retired cnn headline news radio journalist the stuff i dished up at times was truly artistic and masterfully written and spoken...i was the best female newscaster in the u.s. for radio anyway.

Well, just needed to get that out! I love my family and friends. my step daughter J is SOOOO BEAUTIFUL! I am very excited to see her sweet beautiful big brown eyes and happy, kind personality...(this is not meant to be sarcastic, she really is beautiful and I love her very much!) I also get to see my "miss arizona" gorgeous other stepdaughter, K. Boy my husband is not only a fabulous obgyn, sexy doctor...but he sure makes cute babies....whether delivering them or...I digress.

I am so happy to be heterosexual, because my husband is VERY hetero (unlike my exhusband, a dentist and VERY homosexual, but a nice guy is a best-girl-friend-kinda-way...and when he wasn't freaking on me...or about me) anyway...Because Dr. H and I are true soulmates, he literally feels like a part of me. I love the way he does surgery, delivers a baby, comforts me , loves me, walks with me and travels with me... He graduated with honors from med school.. i am very lucky indeed!

I have dated:

Neurosurgeon (from s. africa, white guy, too rich and a little bit stuck up but otherwise nice and cute
2 dentists 1. my ex, very nice, except men turn him on, and me being a woman...well it was a problem...hence my divorcing him for dr. h. and subsequent marriage in which i blissfully reside!
2. dentist, adorable lds guy from seattle, very kind, gentle,, i think he must have thought i was crazy. ..you had to be there.. but he is very cute, and if you are reading this "dentist from seattle", i am sorry for being so confused & dropping out of sight...you were definately a fun and cute transitional man.

orthopedic surgeon, . very cute,nice intelligent...but it felt too much like i was dating a "brother". yes he is lds, i watched him perform back surgery, did a great job (i'm also an emt, and kinda consider myself an MD without the degree). But whenhe made rounds and pulled the morphine pump from his poor patient, i thought he was rather strict... he told his patient, who had the saddest look of pleading in his eyes, "ummm, its been 2 days since your major lumbar back surgery, lets get rid of the morphine pump" (i think i was gonna punch him out for the poor patient.. i wanted to sneak back and reconnect it for him...percocet...givemeabreak!!! for major back surgery????) I would have titrated him down after like 3 and a half days. gave him some vicoden cause it has motrin an anti-inflammatory and some narcotic, and a cold/heat pack regimen and light stretching ...

Well, i am happy i picked the obgyn, bruce is so tender, loving, kind, merciful, funny, cute, sexy, know what to do, where to do it, where to find it and fix it...well ok, this is getting a little steamy but seriously, after 10 years of marriage I am so in love with this man i cant believe it!

Well, i am also grateful he is an excellent mormon guy too... he love the Lord and the Gospel so much! We pray together all the time, both love to do geneology (he's the one that found my great grandpa from Athens Greece, he was a Pharmacist. I always thought of myself as a eccentric scientist...but nonviolent of course. Just very curious... i love the lab! I have a sort of lab in my house in the kitchen... i want to create a much nicer one someday.

Love, Kittywaymo

kittykittykitty

2006-09-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

GENERAL CONFERENCE KITTYWAYMO'S WAY

2006-09-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well, its general conferenc weekend! FORGIVE THE CAPS, I'M A FORMER JOURNALIST (RADIO) AFTER 18 YEARS OF TYPING IN CAPS, (AND ITS SO VERY CONVENIENT) I JUST CAN'T GO BACK TO LOWER CASE...PLUS, I'M JEWISH, MORMON, GREEK AND ITALIAN AND I TEND TO NOT BE SHY ANYWAY....YES I'M FROM NY, LONG ISLAND ORIGINALLY....

THIS IS MY FIRST BLOG...I'VE BEEN AROUND, FIGHTING AGAINST EVIL, ANTI-MORMONISM, ANIMAL AND CHILDREN ABUSERS ETC. ETC. BUT THIS IS MY FIRST ON-LINE JOURNAL...

I AM A MAJOR VOYER AND LOVE VOYERISM... SO ENJOY FELLOW VOYERISTS...

GENERAL CONFERENCE 2006 IS GETTING UNDER WAY IN 30 MINUTES...I AM VERY EXCITED BECAUSE I LOVE CONFERENCE! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A SCIENCE GEEK AND LOVE ANYTHING OF THE INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT PERSUASION, SO GENERAL CONFERENCE IS KINDA MY 'SUPERBOWL" IF YOU WILL...

MY INTERESTS ARE MY HUSBAND, A SEXY, ADORABLE, KIND, FUN, FUNNY, SMART, (I MEAN MENSA SMART) OBGYN WHO TREATS ME LIKE GOLD! I KNOW, IT SOUNDS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE...BUT IT TRULY IS REAL. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF..... HE WAS MY DOCTOR! THAT'S HOW WE MET, ALSO HE WAS IN MY WARD....I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET A DIVORCE FROM MY FIRST HUSBAND, A DENTIST....WE'LL CALL MY FIRST SPENCE...ACTUALLY, THAT IS HIS FIRST NAME...MY SECOND HUSBAND IS...WE'LL CALL HIM DR. H. ..WHEN HE WAS MY DOC... I WAS SUCH A WEIRDO, I'D CALL HIS HOME ANSWERING MACHINE (I KNOW I'M A STALKER, I AM VERY UNSUSUAL WHEN I FALL IN LOVE) AND LISTEN TO HIS VOICE....WHAT A BEAUTIFUL VOICE...YOU SEE I AM A RETIRED RADIO JOURNALIST SO VOICE DOES IT FOR ME!

HE HAS ALOT OF ORIGINAL THOUGHT....HE DOESN'T JUST SERVE THE 'GOOD OL' BOY' NETWORK OF DOCS OUT THERE...HE TRULY HELPS HIS PATIENTS, FREE EPIDERMALS, FREE DELIVERIES AND SURGERIES...THIS MAN IS TRULY A CHRISTLIKE HUMAN BEING...YES, HE DID GET PAID AT TIMES.... AND MADE AN EXCELLENT LIVING! TILL HMOS TURNED MEDICINE INTO...WELL, USE YOUR IMAGINATION...LOL!

WE LOVE TRAVELING, WE'VE CRUISED 16 TIMES ALL AROUND THE WORLD! WE ARE GETTING READY TO GO TO THE CARRIBBEAN THIS CHRISTMAS AND THEN NY TO VISIT MOM AND FAMILY...I LOVE MY FAM! THEY ARE VERY COOL....VERY GOOD LOOKING SMART MEDITTERRANEAN, EUROPEAN PEOPLE WITH GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR AND THEY KNOW HOW TO ENJOY LIFE....MY MOM IS SO CUTE...SHE IS VERY KIND, WARM AND LOVING...SOMETIMES I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BLESSED I AM...

I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH THE WAY YOU ARE RAISED. SO MANY CHILDREN GROW UP WITH GROUCHY, MEAN MOMS... MY MOM SANG IN THE MORNING, PRETENDED TO BE A RESTUARANT OWNER IN ORDER TO GET US TO THE BREAKFAST TABLE AND TOOK ME WITH HER WHEN SHE WENT ON HER DATES WITH HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T TRUST THE OTHER KIDS WITH WATCHING ME...SMART MOM! MY OLDER BROS AND SISTERS (IM THE YOUNGEST OF 7) USED TO LEAVE ME ALONE AT AGE 9!! I FORGIVE THEM...:)

I LIKE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WRITING.....SO I HOPE DEAR READER, YOU WILL ACCEPT MY FREE SPIRIT...I LIKE TO BE TRUTHFUL, OPEN HONEST, AND LOVING....I AM NOT ALWAYS PERFECT IN THESE BUT I STRIVE TO KEEP THAT LEVEL OF INTEGRITY IN MY LIFE.

I LOVE THE MORMON CHURCH!!! I USUALLY POST AS KITTYWAYMO BECAUSE I USED TO HAVE A PRO MORMON SITE WHICH KINDA MADE FUN OF ANTIMORMONS...(I KNOW, NOT VERY CHRISTLIKE...) ONE OF MY KITTYS RAN THE SITE...MY ARGUEMENT WAS HEY, EVEN MY KITTYS CAN COMBATE ANTIMORMONISM'S STRAW-MEN ARGUEMENTS!! YOU'LL ALSO CATCH ME AT GENERAL CONFERENCES USUALLY STANDING IN FRONT OF THE GATES OF THE TEMPLE SINGING HYMNS, AND FIGHTING AGAINST THE STREETPREACHERS ASSOCIATION (THEY ARE ANTIMORMON AND REALLY PRETTY LOATHSOME ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, THE GARMENTS ON A STICK, THE WHOLE SPIEL...) SUCH PUTZES....WHAT CAN I SAY... I KNOW I SHOULD LOVE THEM, I PRAY FOR THEM OCCASSIONALLY, BUT IT PERTURBED ME TO SEE THEM TARGET THE YOUNG, INEXPERIENCED MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH WITH THEIR KORIHOR DECEIT AND LIES ABOUT THE CHURCH....I HAND OUT GOODIES TO THE KIDS AND YOUNG PEOPLE AND KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THESE BOZO'S...HEY IT WORKS...

WELP, 15 MINUTES TO GENERAL CONFERENCE!! I CONVERTED TO THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS IN 1977 AT THE AGE OF 12... READ THE BOOK OF MORMON AND KNEW ON THE SPOT IT IS TRULY THE LORD'S CHURCH AND SCRIPTURE! JOSEPH SMITH, WHO'S NAME IS HAD FOR GOOD AND EVIL, IS A TRUE PROPHET OF GOD AND I LOVE THIS GOSPEL!! I WANT TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE AND LIVING CHURCH WHOM THE LORD JESUS CHRIST IS WELL PLEASED...HE MAY NOT BE COLLECTIVELY WELL-PLEASED CAUSE THERE ARE SOME BANANNAHEADS EVEN IN THE LORD'S CHURCH... BUT OVERALL, HE IS WELL-PLEASED AND EVEN THE BANANNAHEADS ARE TRYING TO GET BY ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW..

I AM TAKING AN ADVANCED PREPHARMD CHEMISTRY CLASS AND ALSO SIGNING UP FOR U OF U MSW PROGRAM... I THINK THE LORD WANTS ME TO DO COUNSELING INSTEAD OF PHARMACY... I KNOW MY HUSBAND DOES! LOL! I LOVE CHEMISTRY...IT ALONG WITH ALL THE SCIENCES AND MATHEMATICS, DENOTES A SUPREME BEING, OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST AND A KIND FATHER IN HEAVEN KNOW THEIR STOICHIOMETRY BALENCED EQUATIONS AND FORMULAS! LOL! I TRULY DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYONE NOT BELIEIVING IN GOD...JUST LOOK AT THE MILKYWAY, THE GALAXIES, CHECK OUT HAYDEN PLANITARIUM ON LINE (NEW YORK VERSION) STUDY CHEMISTRY, BIOLOGY, THE HUMAN BODY IN HUMAN ANATOMY...ALL THESE CLASSES WILL BLOW YOUR MIND BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS SO HIGHLY ORGANIZED, RYTHMIC, CYCLIC, INTELLIGENT AND HARMONIC... IT IS FASCINATING TO BE ALIVE AND KNOW THAT THERE IS INDEED A LOVING GOD.

HE LOVES EVERY PERSON, BOND OR FREE, BLACK OR WHITE, ATHIEST, CHRISTIAN , MUSLIM OR HINDO....I BELIEVE THAT THESE OTHER RELIGIONS ARE ALL PRAYING TO THE SAME CHRIST AND HEAVENLY FATHER WE ARE, JUST USING DIFFERENT NAMES...OK, EXCEPT THE FUNDAMENTALIST MUSLIMS AND SOME SHIITES...

WELL...I AM GOING TO GO GET DR. H. AND WATCH GEN CONF...ITS NICE TO LISTEN TO A PROPHET OF GOD IN THIS MODERN POMPEII WE ARE LIVING IN TODAY...WWW.LDS.ORG
LOVE KITTYWAYMO