Happily married doctors wife, ex-husband~ gayldsdentist, blogging is cheaper than therapy

Wednesday, February 04, 2009




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Blogger Andrew S said...

I probably should not jump into this, but I just might be a glutton for punishment...

Have you been a member of the church your entire life? Doesn't the church feel to you like a culture? Do you identify with your church as much or more than you might with your country?

I don't know about you do, but I think this is true for many members. the LDS church is as much a *culture* as it is a religion.

so, if this is the case...can you just "leave" your culture? I mean, you can leave your country and go to another country, but you would still be a member of that first culture. It would influence what you do and how you think, etc.,

So, for someone who leaves the church, how can we expect them to never say anything about it ever again? Would you say that someone who leaves their country should never say anything about it ever again?

Now, if it may seem that some ex-mormons are angry, then imagine if something that was big in your life (like your culture or your spouse) did something to betray you. What if your significant other cheated on you? Wouldn't you be intensely mad? And if you left them, would you never think about it or never talk about it again?

Ex-mormons are generally people who were very committed in the church. Many of them didn't want to lose faith or lose testimony, but it just happened and now, they are left with the pieces of their life. Really, it's amazing that most take it so *well*.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Richard H said...


Hope things are going well with you.

The thing is that many of the people that leave Mormonism are very happy with their lives.

You are making the assumption that everybody that leaves is bitter and posts nasty comments on the internet.

Most of the people that leave don't bother to post blogs, post on message boards, or leave comments on the internet.

You don't know how many there are, because you will never hear from them. They have moved on.

I have 4 siblings that have left and are very happy and never say anything negative about the LDS church much less post any kind of comment on the internet.

They don't believe it is true and have moved on with their life's and have found something much better so why should they dwell on the past?

Even though I left the church 3 years ago, I read a lot of Mormon related (anti and pro) because I find it entertaining and gives me a lot to think about.

I am very happy with my new beliefs as I am sure you are with Mormonism.

12:16 AM  
Blogger Daniel said...

I suppose that since you define 'happiness' as 'being Mormon', it seems logical that you haven't found any happy ex-Mormons. Maybe that means your definition needs some adjustment.

As far as 'leaving it alone' --

When I was a child in an LDS family, did they leave me alone when it came to religion?

Do LDS missionaries leave non-members alone?

Do Mormons leave gay people alone?

Of course not. Obviously you wish ex-Mormons would just disappear, but you have no reasonable grounds to demand this.

6:52 PM  
Blogger kittywaymo said...

I do not wish exmo's to disappear.. who's sites would I beable to troll and have fun with then? It would be like losing a friend!! Come on, Daniel.. I don't hate you guys.. I know you guys really don't like us very much. But like they say in polygamy.. We're all just family anyway..LOL.

Daniel.. if you don't want Mormons bothering you, you write a letter to the Church/Bp saying "please do not send any mormons to my home etc. But if you are going to picket, send anthrax threats and curse at us at our places of work, worship etc we are going to answer back with our blogs, posts and trolling. harmless stuff, no hatred, no violence. Good ol' fashion TRUTH, HONESTY and INTEGRITY.
I have been a Journalist and now a Chemist and I have seen alot through my various blessed experiences in life. One thing I have YET to see is a truly happy, successful (yes, financial included) peaceful, drug/alchohol free anti-mormon? Show me the "CV" of one (aka resume) of a REAL one, someone I can interview who meets these criteria, I'm just curious. NOw I feel sorry for exmo's. They have been lost in the "mists of darkness" anyone of us "there but for the Grace of God go I" could have happened to any of us. I have a firm testimony. It is a gift from God. I didn't earn it, He gave it to me. Perhaps it's the Jewish blood, I don't know. I am humbled by the wonderful, very personal spiritual experiences I've had in this Gospel. My testimony is based on FACT. I KNOW Joseph Smith IS a Prophet of God,I know the Church is what it claims to be, THe Only True and Living Church upon the face of the Whole earth, with which God is pleased collectively speaking, not necessarily individual members.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, humbly, Amen. Love, Kittywaymo.. Again, I love exmo's not hate them. I get annoyed sometimes by them when they stalk me etc.. (not you guys some others I won't mention) but it would be nice if we could be friends someday.

11:59 PM  
Blogger Andrew S said...

Ex-Mormon does not equal anti-Mormon.

And I wonder about your journalist credentials if you have never seen, formally or informally, any exmember of the church who is not "truly happy, successful, peaceful, drug/alcohol free." I wonder about your journalist credentials if you assume that all ex-mormons are anti-mormons.

But then again, perhaps I should wonder about my own internet discernment credentials sense you already admitted that you're trolling?

9:50 AM  
Blogger kittywaymo said...

Andrew..It is called HUMOUR.. I do not waste my time with exmo boards and trying to redeem them anymore. I used to try to help them, in my mind, but they enjoy their anger and misery and didn't want to hear what I wanted to say. I always used my real persona (kittywaymo) or some alias' that those who knew me would know that its kitty. Mostly me and steve benson etc. I like a good sense of humor. That's why I would never make a good exmo. Somewhere when their testimony goes south, so does their humor. All of a sudden its' "lets sue the Church.. lets sue everyone!! I have had a horrible life.. I want SOMEONE to PAY..""

You know what, Andrew. I've also had a hard life growing up etc. But for me, joining the LDS Church at age 12 MADE MY LIFE HAPPY and BETTER. These Mormons showed me nothing but love and kindness, and generosity. Yes, there were times people judged based on my ethnic backgrounds etc. Those are people that I have found in and out of the Church. It's called BEING HUMAN. Most people bring to the table their prejudice, life's experience etc. Love is scarce in this world. I have found a Church where I believe Love abounds. When I have visited (which is my right to visit, not just as a Journalist, but because it's public view, that's why they have these exmo sites.. trying to "expose evil mormonism"..just because they couldn't handle the strictness of the religion or whatever...) these sites I have found NO LOVE. Not even amongst the anti, exmo, former mo mormons themselves on these sites. They all eventually become ATHEIST and make fun of EVERYTHING sacred. THEY ARE ALSO VERY PREJUDICE Andrew.. I am born/raised in NY.. These exmo's are JUST as prejudice (as a Jew I've saved some of their nicer emails to me) against Jews, Blacks and yes even Gays. So if you think you've found mecca with the exmo's please, read their trash about my race and yours. MOst members I have found to be genuine, even the ones that look at me kinda funny cause of my culture and NY background (living in UT) I can't expect them to fully understand me when some people out here have only met other WASP people (no offense white anglo saxon people.. my husband is scottish, french, jewish so I am not prejudice against wasps) I use to be a little, I admit it. But my worldview got bigger. and when I met some really nice white anglo's that opened up and said "hey, your culture is so interesting and different, but I never felt open enough to ask about it till now".. Andrew. that is what it is ALL ABOUT. you are a young man. Talk to me in 20 years of so after doing journalism for a LONG TIME and then you'll understand. I'm not trying to patronize you for being young, it's just, I've been there. When I was 19, I thought I would NEVER leave NY (why leave? it's the Journalist Dream.) I love UT and the west, enjoy going back often to NY etc.

Point: It's easy to label the LDS Church as prejudice or Mormons as bigots, or all republicans (btw NOT TRUE.. I love Pres. Obama, and so does my VT and best friend from california.. unfortunately, in our Ward we are few in number as democrats) However, I DON"T believe in abortion, and I'm a Yes on Prop 8 person). It's allright to have opinions and ideas. Diversity is a good thing when it comes to opinions and intelligence and people in general. What I stand for Andrew: I hate HATE and Bigotry.. The exmo board is FILLED with hate.. hate against races, religion and even women and gays. There is NO LOVE on these sites. Only contention, jokes about pornography, addiction etc, like it is funny. This stuff destroys lives whether you are an ATHIEST , MORMON or WHATEVER.

DOn't buy into the exmo rhetoric. I can tell you are not Anti mo. But I have seen many exmo's TURN anti mo. Look at Salamander SOciety.. Tell me you feel "love" on that board. The Church doesn't owe any of these former members ONE THING. Like anything in life, you GET what you PUT INTO IT. MOst of these people, DID NOT put EFFORT into a testimony, serving others, loving., Instead, according to my actual research and notes over 10 years, they were caught in sexual sin or dishonesty (MOST not ALL.. i.e. Cr@ig Paxton.. just look him up sometime.. he actually BRAGS about it and how he was on the High Counsel and the time.. now of course he HATES the Church for seeing through him) or Steve Benson.. or Tal.. not getting eNOUGH ATTENTION from the Church, because they of course are BIG STARS and legends in their own mind.. and BTW VERy prejudice.. (or used to be in my opinion against religion and some races.. )

Please open your eyes, don't be naive about the people that leave the Mormon Church, and God bless you and good luck with your Journalism Career. On a different note: Are you interested in Print or Radio/TV? Love, Kittywaymo

1:38 PM  
Blogger Gen. JC Christian, Patriot said...

Yes, it's all about the sexual sin--for exmo men, anyway. They leave the church because of it and start spreading their essence all around to every Shirley, Betty, or Suzy who'll let them. And sometimes it's even Tom, Dick, and Harry. Eventually, all the sexual sin drains them of their essence and they can't manufacture enough to replace what's lost. That makes them grumpy and humorless, so they start suing people.

This is the PART where I uSe RANDOM caps and LOTS of EXCLAMATION points and spit while I TYPE!!!!!!!!!!! THEY make me SICK with all THEIR weak testimonies!!!!!!!!!!! If they HAD just worn their GARMENTS they'd be HAPPY and FUNNY and LESS LIKELY to SUE and have plenty of ESSENCE for their WIVES!!!!!!!!!

11:16 PM  
Blogger Sheila Hunter said...

Uh, no Use caps back then because there was no Siri LOL and I can't stand texting truthfully I don't know (sarcasm )because maybe I'm a retired radio newscaster? And anyone who has been newscaster knows we type all of our stories in caps. So get a life and have some imagination there!

4:43 PM  
Blogger Sheila Hunter said...

Ps: for mormon make exmos statistically it is @ porn, MB n sin. No joke! Don't shoot the messenger !!

4:44 PM  
Blogger Sheila Hunter said...


4:45 PM  
Blogger Sheila Hunter said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

The most miserable years of my life were between my mission and leaving the Church. Every day, the guilt of living the lie wore me down. the cognitive dissonance of everyone around me, the expectation to nod my head and say that I knew, that I believed. i hated it. Before then, I lived peaceably and only somewhat conflicted about the idiosyncrasies of Mormon doctrine. Since then, I am quite happier. I still have the same kind of trials in my life as before, just less the one big factor of knowing better than to believe a terrible perjury.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

For a previous journalist, you like to capitalize a lot of words that shouldn't be capitalized.

I want to point to one of your logical fallacies. You claimed that you haven't met a single ex-mormon who is happy and who doesn't do drugs or alcohol.

I'm trying to figure out where the drugs and alcohol fit into this, because whether a person uses drugs or alcohol doesn't usually have much to do with their happiness.

Me personally, I have left the church a couple of years ago after discovering that it's false. I'm genuinely happier than I have ever been. I'm an IT geek who makes over 6 figures a year, I don't drink, and I don't do drugs. I am genuinely happier than I was when I was a member (and don't try that bullshit about it not being "true" happiness. Happy is happy).

As Andrew pointed out however, it's not easy for people who have left. The church is a culture, and a home to many, and discovering that it isn't true is a major blow. Most people take years to recover from it completely, and few leave for any reasons that you would suspect. Almost everyone leaves because they have discovered that the church isn't true, and it turns our worlds upside down to find that what we trusted and relied on the most was a fraud.

After getting out of the church, I have reset all my priorities and now family is higher up, because I know that I need to spend time with them now, because I won't get an eternity with them. Recognizing the permanence of death is one of the most eye opening experiences anyone can have, and religion lying about what comes after this cheats people of these valuable experiences

7:15 PM  
Blogger Sheila Hunter said...

Matt, I was a radio news caster.I also hate texting so I use Siri and I admit I get very lazy in my punctuation.😄my style is sort of "flow of consciousness" writing. I also had to type in all caps as a newscaster in radio😄

9:55 AM  

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